WAS: What Adults are Saying about the Political Nervous System

First the GOP lost its spine and now its mind. Or was it the other way around?

Someday, when denizens of early 21st century America go the way of Kansas and have all become Dust in the Wind, hordes of social scientists will huddle in some hermetically controlled room offering protection from earth’s atmosphere. There, as social scientists are inclined to do, they will ponder US politics of the early 21st century as part of a larger conference assembled under the theme—”What Were They Thinking.”

Partially because of the hermetic atmosphere and following open bar, this keynote session will be packed! The audience will be diverse with many representatives from all four genders ( male, female, non-binary and chip enhanced) even though the topic is neutral about this point. Trends in Federal research funding, recency bias and a deep interest in reviewing historical “train wrecks” means attention will center on the Republican Party—specifically on its mind-bending, head scratching approach during the days of George W. Bush through number 47.

At some point, in a nod to the science pedigree apparent, debate will center on causality about the weird GOP and whether the collective loss of a spine led to a collective loss of brain function—or was it the other way around? Naturally the two-terms of 47 will be a focus. Having already established a borrowed 6th grade playground patter and invented Oval Office politics of “I know you are but what am I?”, questions will abound why the GOP was so compliant with this new, nasty, puerile approach to Executive governance?

By the time of this meeting a handful of theories will already have been in broad circulation about 47 as a historical aberration so severe, he and the GOP culturally decapitated America and nearly put it in its grave. In that sufficient history has passed for a detached view discussion will be probing, thoughtful and unusually well-informed by the standards established by 47. In other words the analysis will be far more relevant and considerate than what was shown from the Oval Office. Three dominant theories attempting to explain this phenomenon will emerge:

The Tony Soprano School

Theorists will here argue that with broad black money support, all that 47 and his administration were ever about was to be the America’s first mob President. They will point to numerous examples of mob-like behavior found in legislative and Cabinet positions prior to 47. They will also illustrate that Supreme Court Justices Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito clamored heavily to be “made-men” but were too dim to bide omerta—and thus disqualified themselves. Simply, too many in the GOP were afraid for themselves and family because President Soprano’s “men” were ubiquitous, committed and ruthless to their appointed duties. Permitting the renaming the world’s geography, they reasoned, was a small price for not waking up with a horse’s head.

The Broaden the Con Base School

Progress in America’s economy then, was limited to just a couple sectors—technology and especially its application in information processing and reality engagement areas and a renewed effort in snake-oil sales. Because manufacturing and broad business and infrastructure investments were long ignored (until impactful legislation led by Joe Biden), lucrative business attraction loomed especially in the latter area where barriers to business entry were low and margins high.

But exploiting it meant all would-be cons needed a lot of marks. So a cultural blietkrieg ensued where all were told supplements, pills, apps, body worn hardware and other things promised to have magic bullet-like impact on making all things in one’s world better. Entire information networks were even based on a premise of disavowing all in government (regardless of value) as preamble to advertisements for life-changing potions. Americans, who were then carrying both unprecedented obesity and under-education levels (especially younger folks), fell for the ruse magnificently. The King Con’s then reasoned “hell if this worked let try’s this to unravel government for more dough.” In that a typical Washington political spine would have blocked such an attempt, most leaders were simply given a small piece of the business and all the free supplements they could handle. Conventional resistors then quickly fell in line.

The Point of No Return School

This theory is the most morose of the three and combines selected elements from the other options. The GOP’s move to fecklessness, it is said, was nothing more than a reaction to the obvious of a failing Democracy as preamble to the death of Homo Sapiens. In that the country’s businesses had amassed a string of victories over the other dominant facets of cultural life including the professions, the arts, education and the clergy, new-born Rockefellers believed they had license to do as they pleased. However, simultaneously, these same folk realized in addition to their own self, America and the planet were also dying—and quickly.

This fueled an all out pivot to plain old nihilism—that nothing mattered (at least not anymore) and until the species cratered life would be Mardi Gras, New Year’s and The Kentucky Derby rolled into one—all day everyday. Many in the GOP were initially cool to this idea but once understanding how badly American capitalists has screwed the world, then adopting this school of thought was easy. The focus soon shifted from every night is a banquet to where is my nightly place in the banquet line. Accordingly, spine melting soon commenced.

Just as the session nears its end with that prized bar lingering offering its sweet nectar, plans will be made for the next gathering of esteemed scholars. Without surprise, no conclusions will be drawn about these three theories and the causal relationship between a brain and a dissolving spine. But plans will be announced to continue the discussion on the contagion of the phenomenon. Friends from the biological sciences will then be invited to establish its unheard of for any animal phylum to reverse itself and eliminate its defining condition. Acquiring a spine took millions of evolutionary years. Eliminating it through political proxy over a mere decade is unprecedented biology. Therefore a key question will be posed, how soon might the condition spread to Democrats and the public at-large?